I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
