the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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