He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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