This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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