my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
