So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
