We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
