About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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