grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
