Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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