he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize