Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize