1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
