ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
