i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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