your thong is hanging out like whoa
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
