found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
People in love make me want to vomit
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
