Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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