where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
