it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
