There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When are your genitals available?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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