My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
