My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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