She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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