i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
