No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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