I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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