Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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