And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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