So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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