A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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