Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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