Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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