I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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