i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this boner is exhausting
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
