We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
