By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
