Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize