he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
