she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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