just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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