Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
