good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize