last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
