i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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