only if we run a train.
done.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
