That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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