can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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