Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
