I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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