It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
