He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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