Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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