try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
