I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
