Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize