Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
