TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
What drink are we having for lunch?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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