I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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