god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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