Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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