would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
