it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
