He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
MIDGETS
????
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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