There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
