Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
