I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
