making cat noises will not fix the situation.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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