i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
