What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
