I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
