at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
